A letter to my neighbor

Dear Next Door Neighbor,

It has been a pleasure living next door to you for the past 18 years. Wish I could say that about the vampires on the other side of me. You have never once complained about any noise, called the authorities or bitched about any work being done.
I understand that both you and your husband run your own businesses. Kudos for you and if you have the chance , could you drop off some free potato salad that you make at your store. It's my favorite.
You keep your lawn trimmed, your landscaping beautiful and for this I thank you.

In the years that the Book and #1 have lived here you have never once decorated for the Christmas holidays, until this past Christmas. The Book and I were thrilled! Finally , the only other Christians on the block lighting up their home. Two more homes sparkling with color and without life size menorah's on their front lawns. Once again, I thank you.

I do have one complaint. It's fucking July now. Take down the lights. Seriously. Or if you don't have the time, take them off the damn timer. Like I stated.....it's July.
Your home is lit every evening like it's Christmas eve. It's July. The bright lights frighten my poor Rosie in the darkness and need I remind you that it is all about Rosie over at the Sista's.

Sorry if I sound bitchy but it is really starting to piss me off. Maybe you could come over for a cocktail some night , get drunk and we can have a taking down the decorations party. Thank god the wreath in your window is fake,,,,whewww!!

Get back to me about getting drunk and don't forget to send the Potato salad.

Yours Truly,

#1